Self Care!!!

 

My goal has been self care! At first I fought against the idea because I didn’t want to seem selfish and I’m a fixer. I love trying to fix people’s  problems . Yet truth is that’s not my job and no one can do a better job than GOD. He’s the only one that is omnipresent and sometimes the best thing we can do is pray for someone. And then allow GOD to tell you if there is any further action needed. We must use wisdom!!! And as a woman you are taught to put yourself last especially if you have the title of mom/wife,etc. However that’s so untrue because you can’t pour into others if you’re empty and depleted. Who takes care of you while you’re busy taking care of everybody else. The world isn’t going to end, our kids, and the people around us will be okay. It’s perfectly alright to put yourself first that’s not being selfish. If you were drowning you would have to save yourself first before saving anyone else. And many of us are drowning on a daily basis in this thing called life from our own personal situations, loved ones who are experiencing difficult times, and then the world as a whole. Each time we turn on the news it’s another sad story. Stress is everywhere and it’s unavoidable. But the game changer is how you handle the stress, how you appraise it, and most importantly implementing self care; making it a priority. It’s when we practice self care that we will increase our love of self and embark on journey of self discovery. What do you like? What do you want? What do you need? Who are you? What steps do I need to take to live my best life? In relationships with significant others, our children, and even in our friendships it’s so easy to lose our identity because we are busy trying to please them. And many times we can’t even answer these questions. However, you will get the answers to these questions and gain mental clarity when you take time to spend with yourself. You have to say: “I matter”, “I’m important”, “I’m worthy, and “I deserve it.” We have to stop skipping breakfast the most important meal of the day, we have to get our rest, we have to find something we enjoy and do it, we have to take better care of ourselves(mind, body, and spirit), we to buy/treat ourselves to something every now and then, we have to go get pampered sometimes (massage or new hair do), we to spend time with people we enjoy besides our kids/men/women, and we have to take time to work on our own goals and problems. You can’t afford to keep neglecting yourself, you will only become bitter, angry, resentful, and stagnant. We are our own worst enemy! So don’t keep saying life ain’t fair or why is this person doing something I thought of years ago. GOD is no respect of person, we can have the desires of our heart. It just takes faith, discipline, and action. And when we spend time with self we can begin to mind our own business and have the businesses we want. Making changes can be overwhelming and at first your mind will try to fight against  this new idea. Just don’t give up, take baby steps if needed, and small stabs until you can take on more. YOU must take time for self care daily, even if you have to lock yourself in the bedroom/bathroom. EVEN if you have to leave your house and go to a library/friend’s house!!! And what you do doesn’t have to be expensive or big. It can be reading a book, going for a walk, writing, watching a funny movie, meeting a friend for lunch or going it alone, taking a bubble bath,etc. Then make a date with yourself once a week for a bigger ticket item and if you can’t do it weekly make it monthly. I also found that making a weekly to do list is a great tool in getting the important things done, I use alphabets to place them in order of importance(ex. A’s where #1 priority ) however make it your own. In addition to the to do list, I try my best not to skip breakfast,  I pray before starting my day because it’s GOD first then me, I take one day just for me and do things I enjoy, and each day I check something off my to do list I take a break and reward myself. I still able help others as I’m available and led by GOD however I do it with joy, and I don’t take all their stuff on. My cup becomes full and I’m able to pour out! I feel accomplished and good! And when I do this it turns out to be my best days and weeks. I believe people will even start to treat us better and love us more when we start loving and treating ourselves better. We are the example, the mirror that people see! I hope you will start to put yourself first and whenever your feeling empty/drained in each day stop and replenish. As you work on self and you become full, you will be able to replenish others. It’s also important that you surrounded yourself with people who are able to pour into you which will result in a beautiful exchange of pouring into each other instead of draining each other dry.  Here’s to #self #selflove #selfcare #selfawareness!

With Love,

Dunyell

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